Winning the jackpot sure is a nice fantasy. I’d use it to travel the world with my family; there’s so much I’m dying to see!

by Barenaked Ladies

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I’d buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I’d buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had a million dollars I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars
I’d build a tree fort in our yard
If I had million dollars
You could help, it wouldn’t be that hard
If I had million dollars
Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
There would already be laid out foods for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things

They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don’t have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame ‘em
Uh, yeah

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat that’s cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you an exotic pet
(Yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you John Merrick’s remains
(Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And If I had a million dollars I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars
We wouldn’t have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
Now, we’d take a limousine ’cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn’t have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we’d just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That’s right, all the fanciest ke… dijon ketchups!
Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that’s cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a monkey
(Haven’t you always wanted a monkey)

If I had a million dollars
I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I’d be rich

I love the James Gregory quote. I definitely have a list!

“I will immediately go into hiding, and set up so many trusts and shell companies to thwart any pesky previously-unknown ‘relatives’ trying to get hold of my loot.

Say, where’s the nearest motor yacht dealer?”

“The following people can kiss my big, rich a$$ …”

Reading off that list would be almost as rewarding as getting the money.