Land of the fee
Having just concluded a teeth-gnashing encounter with the airline industry (nothing unusual happened; I simply flew somewhere), I was in no mood to read this article about the new methods airlines use to leverage more money out of the pockets of their customers. The latest: A fee you pay for the privilege of paying a baggage fee at the ticket counter. It’s a fee on a fee.
According to the article, various airlines now charge — or have considered charging — fees for sitting on the emergency exit row; booking a flight online; picking any seat at all; using the onboard bathroom; using a sick bag; or (get this) simply checking in.
Shades of David Puddy:
PUDDY: (While punching up numbers on a calculator) I just left out a couple of things: rust-proofing..
JERRY: “Rust-proofing”?
PUDDY: (Reading off what he’s adding up on the calculator) Transport charge, storage surcharge, additional overcharge, finder’s fee …
JERRY: “Finder’s fee”? It was on the lot!
PUDDY: Yeah, that’s right. (Continues reading off) Floor mats, keys …
JERRY: ‘Keys”?!
PUDDY: How ya gonna start it?
Truly, life imitates art — or at least it imitates “Seinfeld.”
June 22nd, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Well, this is all just training for the new tax structure that is coming. The forgettable movie “Popeye” may actually been a window to the future:
The Tax Man: You just docked?
Popeye: I has.
The Tax Man: Ah ha, let’s see here, that’ll be 25¢ docking tax.
Popeye: What for?
The Tax Man: Where’s your sea craft?
Popeye: It ain’t no sea craft, it’s me dinghy and it’s under the wharf.
The Tax Man: Ah ha. ahh-ha. This your goods?
Popeye: They is.
The Tax Man: Yeah. You’re new in town right?
Popeye: If you call this a town, yes.
The Tax Man: Well, first of all, there’s 17¢ new-in-town tax, and there’s 45¢ rowboat-under-the-wharf tax, and one dollar leaving-your-junk-lying-around-the-wharf tax, so all together, you owe the Commodore $1.87.
Popeye: Uh, who’s this Commodore?
The Tax Man: Is that the nature of question? There’s a nickel question tax.
June 22nd, 2009 at 3:20 pm
I’m old enough to remember when people actually dressed up to fly and were treated as guests. We’ve come a long way, baby, and it’s all downhill.
June 22nd, 2009 at 4:41 pm
“If, from the more wretched parts of the old world, we look at those which are in an advanced stage of improvement, we still find the greedy hand of government thrusting itself into every corner and crevice of industry, and grasping the spoil of the multitude. Invention is continually exercised, to furnish new pretenses for revenues and taxation. It watches prosperity as its prey and permits none to escape without tribute.” ~Thomas Paine
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:50 am
Get over it, GD, it’s “progress.” Give us some real dirt. What have you REALLY been up to?
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:18 am
I just had the privalege of paying $360 for a simple 6 month service on my HVAC by a company called Techniques out of Apex. I was charged a one hour “travel charge” [Puddy: how else are we going to get there?] AND a $28 “vehicle charge” [Puddy: what? you want us to walk?]. 3 weeks later, my HVAC doesn’t work. Techniques came out, confirmed it didn’t work, and explained it must have broken after they left, and that it would be an additional $400 to fix. I said I would call someone else, so they billed me the travel charge and “vehicle fee” again ($108). [Puddy, sitting at the bar later that night: You should have seen the loser I sold a car to today - que laugh track]. The Airlines could still learn a thing or two from Techniques.